Most, if not all, of us remember the heroes of classic fairy tales. They tended to be rich, handsome and skilled in combat. They were virtuous. They were brave. They were kind. In these stories, they would rescue the young beautiful woman from the villain and marry her. Then the two would live happily ever after. The villain, on the other hand, was often ugly in appearance. Even in the 1939 film The Wizard of Oz, the good witch of the north assured Dorothy that only bad witches are ugly.
Some more recent fairy tale movies, such as Shrek, have shown much less physically attractive heroes while the villain may be the more physically attractive one. Indeed, most people are probably aware that when a man is rich and handsome, he is not necessarily a good person. Conversely, when a person is ugly, he/she is not necessarily a bad person. This concept should be easy enough for the average person to understand. Yet most people have some famous celebrity that they idolize, such as a pop artist, Hollywood actor or sports athlete. Many people see these celebrities as being like royalty.
So suppose you are a big fan of a famous person throughout much of your life. This person’s work inspires you, and uplifts you. Now suppose that one day you find evidence that this person—whom you have been a fan of for so long—is not a good person. Word has it that this person has done some bad things that have caused people to suffer, and he/she is not showing signs of penitence. Would you still be a fan?
Unfortunately, a lot of celebrities have been guilty of causing suffering to others, particularly women. This Wikipedia article presents a long list of male celebrities who have sexually harassed and sexually abused women. Some of these male celebrities were accused of sexual abuse by up to 60 or more women.
The world’s fetish for rich, handsome men
One day when I was in high school, my sports team was having a car wash. The next customer comes up to have his car washed, and I hear one of the other girls say “He is really hot, you guys, so do a good job”. I did not like this comment. Being more physically attractive should not mean that one is more deserving of better service. Nonetheless, this incident shows how physically attractive people are more likely to get better service.
Rich people also have a higher status in mainstream culture than poor or middle income people. While many rich people have worked their way into becoming rich, there are also many people who were born rich, and thus have been rich their entire lives. They did not have to earn their high status in society. They always had it.
The average person usually has to put effort into earning the favor of others. They may earn the favor of others by demonstrating certain virtues, talents, passions or charisma. The rich and handsome man, on the other hand, does not have to do as much to win the favor of others. What does this mean? He can be a mediocre person and plenty of people will still like him.
How this fetish can affect the rich, handsome men
In general, rich handsome men receive messages from the world around them that they will be well-liked even if they are not good people. They often receive these messages from a very young age. Such messages convey to them that there are little to no behavioral standards and no boundaries. They can do with people whatever they want, and it is okay.
Gaston from the classic story Beauty and the Beast is an example of a handsome alpha male who believes that it is every woman’s fondest dream to be with him. In reality, he is conceited, self-centered and outright evil. Even though he is far removed from being a decent human being, he has a posse of people in town who adore him for his good looks and his talents. As illustrated in this video, he has both men and women swooning over him. As long as people continue to shower him with adoration, he will continue to see himself as the handsome and virtuous hero who is entitled to get whatever he wants.
When these rich handsome men are favored by our culture, almost unconditionally, they are, I figure, predisposed to developing narcissistic behavioral tendencies. In other words, they become predisposed to growing up believing that they are entitled to special treatment and are entitled to get whatever they want, regardless of how badly the fulfillment of their desires affects others.
I do not mean to say that all rich and handsome men are bad. What I am saying is that they, as a group, have an increased temptation to do evil simply because their actions are less likely to backfire on them. Even when they commit a heinous crime, they can afford to pay lawyers large amounts of money and evade prosecution.
Young women and girls often become infatuated with these rich and handsome men, and they display this infatuation freely for others to see. This behavior can fuel the flames of the superiority complex of these rich and handsome men. Eventually, these men start to believe that all women love them. The word “no” from a woman ceases to have any meaning in their world. Because they think that all women are supposed to like them, they can become prone to sexual misconduct. They can fall into the delusion that all of their sexual advances are welcome.
Sometimes the rich, handsome men see themselves as being like the heroes from fairy tales. Like the heroes from fairy tales, they are rich, handsome and perhaps have some notable talent. They see themselves as the one who fights evil, or at least as the one who is on the good side. They do not understand that they are the villain, and not the hero.
The Bryce Walker character from the Thirtheen Reasons Why TV series is an example of a rich and fairly good-looking guy who abused his high social status and became a serial rapist. He was not only rich, but also a star athlete. This video clip from the series shows Bryce’s rationalization for his actions — the all too common “she wanted it!” At the end of the video clip, Bryce says that “she was practically begging me to fuck her. If that’s rape then every girl at this school wants to be raped”. Of course Bryce’s recollection of the event is inaccurate. Anybody who saw the scene would see that the girl was obviously trying to get away when he forcibly grabbed her and had sex with her from behind.
When Bryce Walker was put on trial for rape, he managed to evade prosecution because of the large number of lawyers receiving plenty of money from his wealthy family. Nonetheless, once word got out that he was a serial rapist, he became known as the town monster. Even the other boys at his new school were mean to him because of what he had done. This chain of events, however, is not always representative of what happens in real life. In real life, rich handsome men sometimes maintain an okay reputation even after word gets out that they have sexually abused large numbers of women.
Take Bill Cosby, for example. About 60 women had made allegations against him for sexual abuse, and those allegations were found later to be true. Despite this, Bill Cosby is still best known as a stand-up comedian and actor who presented a more positive image of African Americans on television. Because he had such a high level of social importance at the time of these rape allegations, it was hard for the public to recognize him for the bad man that he was.
Sowing one’s wild oats
Sowing one’s wild oats refers to the practice of having many sexual relationships particularly when one is young. Young men in old fashioned upper class society were sometimes encouraged (though maybe behind closed doors) to sow their wild oats before they marry and commit to one woman for the rest of their lives. Unfortunately, sowing their wild oats often involved taking advantage of lower class women. In the southern United States during the time of slavery, the sons of plantation owners were sometimes told to have sex with the slave women rather than spoiling a “pure white virgin girl”. It was common for slave women to be raped by their masters and their masters’ sons.
When upper class men sow their wild oats, their sexual indulgences often involve abuses of their power. When they are rich and handsome, they are sometimes not able to see why a lower class woman would say “no”. They believe that with their smooth talk and charm, all women adore them, and all women should welcome their sexual advances. When the lower class woman pushes the man away, he does not go away so easily. He is not able to comprehend the fact that he is not as desirable as he thinks he is. His attempt to take advantage of a lower class woman alone is proof of the terrible person he is. No woman, in her right mind, of any class would marry him or have anything to do with him. His stubborn delusion that all women love him is what makes him so dangerous for women to be around.
What makes matters worse is that these rich handsome villains are not the only ones who think all women are supposed to adore them. Much of the rest of society also expects all women to adore these men, placing the women into a bad position where it is difficult to impossible to seek justice should they be victimized. Society already treats rape victims badly enough when the rapists are not rich and handsome.
It is thought that these rich, handsome men do not need to rape women because they already have a bunch of women willingly throwing themselves at them. Real-world observations, however, show that wealthy male celebrities do sexually abuse women, sometimes on a routine basis. This article discusses the dark side of Hollywood and how many men in Hollywood have abused their power and used their high social status to silence their victims. Below is an excerpt from the article, translated from Spanish:
As Andrés Quinteros, a Cepsim psychologist specializing in sexual abuse, assures, although there is no specific profile of a harasser, it is always his power that leads him to these situations. “They are men or women with a lot of power and they use it with vulnerable people to get what they want. Normally they lack empathy, which is what places us in the pain of others and makes us do no harm or be selfish », he assures.