Physical touch is often used as a nonverbal way of showing affection, which could be sexual in nature, as between romantic partners, or nonsexual in nature, as between friends. A hug, a pat on the shoulder or a stroking of the arm can convey affection sometimes in a more powerful way than words alone. So if you were to see, for example, a woman touching another woman in an affectionate manner, and see the other woman flinch in response, what would be your reaction? Would you think that maybe this other woman, for some odd reason, doesn’t like to be touched? Would you think that maybe this other woman does not like to experience affection from other human beings?
Unsolicited physical touch can occur in different contexts. If someone walks up to you and punches you in the mouth, that altercation would be an example of unsolicited physical touch. In another context, one person may forcibly push another person in order to move the other person out of the way of a moving vehicle. Here, the unsolicited physical touch, we can figure, is warranted. It is meant to save a person’s life. There is another kind of unsolicited physical touch, however, that appears to be a touch of affection. It is not true affection, however. It is a form of disrespect, and sometimes qualifies as abuse.
When people think of unsolicited physical touch, they may think of men inappropriately touching women in a sexual manner. However, unsolicited physical touch can be woman on woman, or even woman on man. The first few minutes of this video show some examples of Justin Bieber being touched in an unsolicited manner by grown men and grown women. In the world of television, this behavior is okay, but in reality it is disrespectful and harmful.
Evil Thought Processes Behind Unsolicited Physical Touch
A mindset that is characteristic of evildoers is the mindset that the world around oneself exists for one’s own sake and for one’s own personal glory. Even when evildoers do not believe that the entire world exists for their sake, they will still believe that their immediate environment and the people in their lives only exist for their own personal use. The good person, on the contrary, will have the mindset that the world around him/herself exists for the sake of all and/or for the sake of God’s glory.
When an evildoer touches another person in an unsolicited manner — whether it be sexual or nonsexual in nature — the evildoer often does so with the mindset that the other person exists for the evildoer’s own personal use and personal pleasure. As far as the evildoer is concerned, the other person has no higher purpose. For example, when the men and women were touching Justin Bieber in an unsolicited manner and invading his personal space, they likely believed that he only served one purpose: to provide entertainment and pleasure. As far as they are concerned, Justin is an aesthetically beautiful entertainment icon that only exists to entertain, and does not necessarily have any other worth. They do not respect his rights to his own personal space. Unless they derive some sort of use out of him, he may as well not exist as far as they are concerned.
The good person sees worth in other people that goes beyond the use that he/she can get out of them. For example, is the shoemaker’s worth as a person only in the shoes that he makes? Is the baker’s worth only in the baked good that she produces? We should be able to see that a shoemaker is not just a shoemaker, but also a father, husband, son, good friend, etc.
Physical touch can be a tool that evildoers will use to try to trick their victims, and casual bystanders, into thinking that they are the victim’s friend. The evildoer may physically touch the victim in an affectionate manner before, during or after inflicting harm on the victim, and all the while showing no signs of remorse for the bad deed. For example, let us say that the victim is speaking her mind on something that is important to her, and the evildoer laughs in response, as if the victim were telling a joke, even though the victim is clearly not telling a joke. The evildoer sees that the victim is offended, but rather than acknowledging any wrongdoing or giving any apology, the evildoer simply strokes the victim’s arm in an affectionate manner. Using this nonverbal body language, the evildoer is essentially saying to the victim “you are not worthy of any respect, and your opinions are not to be taken seriously, but I am still your friend, and I care about you.”
This unsolicited physical touching is sometimes an insult to the victim’s intelligence. It is as if the evildoer is saying “I can do all of the horrible things to you that I want, and no matter how badly I treat you, I still expect you to believe that I am your friend. All I have to do to be your friend is touch you in an affectionate way. You cannot possibly reject my physical affection. That would be horrible…” Obviously, unsolicited physical touching of an affectionate nature does not make one a good person, and it certainly does not mean that the person has no intention of harming you.
Physical contact is not always done out of affection. For example, when we lean against a wall at a public place, we certainly feel no affection for the wall, and we think nothing of touching it. It is just an inanimate object. As far as we are concerned, the wall has no value in itself, and exists only for the sake of providing a barrier between two spaces. When we hug a stuffed animal, we do not feel affection for the stuffed animal as we would for another person, though we may feel a sentimental attachment to the stuffed animal, particularly if it was a stuffed animal that we had as a child.
Women are more likely to get away with initiating unsolicited physical contact with others. One reason is that female friends touch each other more than male friends do. When men are friends with each other, there is less affectionate physical touch than there is among women who are friends. Another reason women get away with this behavior more than men is that culture frowns upon men giving unsolicited physical contact to a woman because such behavior is often viewed as a form of sexual harassment. Not so when a woman touches another woman. Therefore, in my opinion, physical touch, done out of disrespect, and with the façade of affection, is most likely to be done by a female to another female. It also may be done by an adult to a child.
Evildoers perceive aesthetic beauty more than they do true worth
In some cultures and subcultures, young women are expected to value themselves based on how aesthetically beautiful they are. This mindset has very serious implications. The problem with this mindset is that it implies that the young women’s worth is no higher than that of an inanimate object. Think about it. Inanimate objects can be beautiful, so if all that is expected of a young woman is to be beautiful, then the expectations of her are expectations that could be fulfilled by an inanimate object. There is nothing that is expected of her that an inaminate object cannot do.
If a man and woman want to have a beautiful daughter, and beauty is the only thing that they want in their daughter, then they may as well go out and buy a doll. After all, dolls are not only beautiful, they also do not need all of the care that a child would require. So why do the man and woman not buy a doll? The reason is that they do want more in a daughter than just beauty. They want her to have a soul. They want her to have a personality that makes her unique. They want her to have something that distinguishes her from all other people.
When an older woman invades a younger woman’s space, and touches her in an unsolicited manner, she may justify her behavior by claiming that the younger woman is supposed to take this excessive physical contact as a compliment. She may expect the younger woman to place her value in her physical beauty rather than in who she is as a person. The older woman’s attitude implies that she has no more respect for the younger woman than what she would have for an inanimate object. The older woman believes that the younger woman, like an inanimate object, is there for her own personal pleasure and personal use. As far as the older woman is concerned, the younger woman has no higher purpose.
Manipulating The Victim Into Submission
Evildoers can employ numerous manipulative tactics to get their victims to tolerate their bad treatment. One thing that many evildoers know is that people generally want to be loved and wanted. Evildoers can use this yearning to be loved to their advantage. When their victim complains about invasion of his/her personal space, the evildoer may say something like are you not grateful that someone loves you and wants to be around you? Don’t you like human contact? What is wrong with you?
Evildoers can be very skilled at denigrating their victims in the sight of others, and without it looking like they are doing anything wrong at all. Their denigrating comments are very subtle, yet still effective at making the victim feel like something is wrong with him/her and making the victim look like a grouch to naïve bystanders. When you complain to a person that he/she is touching you too much, he/she may spread rumors that you have an aversion to human contact. Meanwhile, you may like human contact, just not from some horrible person who has no respect for you and who is only pretending to be your friend.
In some contexts, unsolicited physical touch is a nonverbal means by which one person claims another person as his/her personal property, as discussed in this article.